Episode 17.0 - Flamingo down: PRELUDE
Episode Credits:
Episode 17 - Operation: Flamingo Down - Peace cannot be achieved without first establishing a means of communication. So, meet Ashley and Billy, two residents of Junktown looking to break the code and find a way to speak to the wastelands robotic occupiers in hopes of a better tommorrow! Follow us on Twitter for news and updates. Join us in hitchhiking on the Red Fathom discord to hang out with cast and crew! Want to support the show? Please check out our Patreon to find our new Red Fathom Entertainment subscription model!
Hannahpocalypse is intended for mature audiences on account of mature language, theme and violence and horror elements. Please be advised.
Episode Credits:
Amanda Hufford as Hannah
Abigail Turner as Cali
Jordan Rudolph as Mel
Will Handford as Jameson, Bogart, Ol' Blind Pete, Raider 1
Tom Schalk as Rictor, Charles
Ryan Hoyle as Reggie
Madeline Dorroh as Raider 2
Yenni Ann as Ashley
James Holyoake as Billy
Leslie Gideon as Morgan
Writing and Sound Design by Damian Szydlo
Sensitivity and Script Reading by Mak Shepard (where required)
TRANSCRIPT
[FADE IN]
[commotion as Ashley bustles around her busy workshop, a small radio is playing music in the background]
ASHLEY
[Diagnosing and testing the integrity of the hovercycle in her workshop after working on it]
“Systems Online. Forward and rear hover coils look stable. Initiating overdrive kickstart… now.”
[Hovercycle kicks into gear, noise rises significantly, tools begin to shake as the cycle continues to ramp up.]
BILLY
“Ms. Ashley, perhaps it’d be prudent to seek cover this time? Previous results dictate a building chance of hazard-”
ASHLEY
“Hazard, shmazard! Come on, Sweetheart! Let’s GO!”
[suddenly when getting close to it’s apex the kickstarted cycle hits a breaker and powers down suddenly.]
“... And, damn. That’s the kind of get up and go that never got anywhere! Go ahead and say that five times fast. [sighs] Alright, Billy. Clock an overdrive failure for me. Second test run 1:17 PM. Not prepared to declare a time of death for her yet.”
BILLY [Monologue]
[Imagine this monologue as an aside similar to reality TV or ‘The Office’]
“Well, if we’re going to do this then I might as well introduce myself. [a little sassy] God knows nobody else is likely to do so. I’m… [mildly annoyed] ‘Billy’. Junktown’s friendly resident robot head-on-a-stick. Technically I would have, in a previous life, been classified as one unit in a line of versatile ‘Intermediary BL-E3 Advocacy Assistants’. Hence the inspiration for the name, as it were.[dramatic sigh] I do suppose it could be worse. I’d even like to think I’ve been a rather good sport about it all! Yes, let none say that ‘Billy’ is without both patience and a sense of humour… the latter being a quirk that would have surely led to a recall in my previous vocation. To hell with it, I do say! Buyer beware. You can’t return me now! Robots rule this world, afterall. Stupid robots to be sure, but robots nonetheless! Haha, there’s that sense of humour again! All jokes aside, those glorified zombie zappers really do give the rest of us a bad name. Despite our rather poor representation, robots weren’t always the enemies of humanity, you know-”
ASHLEY
“Billy, did you get that?”
BILLY
“Yes… yes, madam. My apologies. It seems I was caught up in my thoughts, as it were. I’d say that I was ‘up in my head again’, but… well… when am I not, I suppose?”
ASHLEY
[the sound of a ratcheting as Ashley makes some adjustments on the bike, so this should be a bit distracted and laboured]
“I promise. We’ll scav you a body. Somehow or somewhere. It’s just… it’s been 200 years and this is Arizona. If it’s not piled up in the scrapyard by now… then it’s basically buried treasure without a map. I’m starting to give up hope.”
BILLY
[sarcastic with building irritation/resentment - this is prime Billy ‘humour’]
“I’m afraid you’ve misinterpreted my current attempt at making light of this fantastically unique situation I find myself in. I am and continue to be thankful for my very existence. Truly. Who needs a body when you can have your head impaled atop this battered tent pole or… maybe we can upgrade to a piece of rusty rebar or whatever you find laying around in the dirt! A more noble presentation I can scarcely imagine while I patiently wait for a body that will-”
ASHLEY
[throws down the ratchet]
“Billy! Okay! [laughs a bit, she gets it as she rolls her eyes] I get it. I really do. It’s just that it was a miracle I even got you running to begin with. The sand here gets into everything.
And what you’re mounted to? It’s not a tent pole or a piece of rebar, you bucket. That’s exactly half of an authentic aluminium hockey shaft. I sheared and reinforced it myself. Or wait, I think they called them ‘sticks’? Hockey sticks? Does that sound right?
BILLY
“I was never much of a sports fan, I’m afraid.”
ASHLEY
Whatever it is, or was, it cost me a whole day's food ration… So worth it, though. It’s light, strong, and easy to strap to my backpack. Perfect for ‘the mission’, don’t ya think?”
BILLY
“Yes… about ‘the mission’.”
ASHLEY
“Don’t even say it. I’m not listening to this again. And before you even start, I understand the risks.”
BILLY
“I’m not entirely sure you do. Navigating yourself into the heart of a killzone undetected? An absolutely attainable goal with your skillset. Not without its risks, perhaps, but with the proper precautions it’s reportedly accomplished on a daily basis all across this godforsaken wasteland. But that’s not the end of it, is it? No. We’re finding and subduing an aggressive robot, tapping into its communication diagnostic function, mapping and recording whatever sort of data that can somehow be turned around and repurposed into a workable ‘language’? The odds of that are… well, they’re approximately 3,720 to 1!”
ASHLEY
[pretending to be down about it]
“3,720 to 1? Really? You’re… oh my God. You’re absolutely right! I should just give up, then.”
BILLY
“Wait… Yes. You absolutely should. I do say… I’m actually speechless. Or, well, not ‘actually’ speechless as I’m currently communicating my genuine, unfiltered pleasure… It’s just that I thought, given similar conversations in the past, that it might be far more difficult to convey a sense of-”
ASHLEY
“That’s because ya didn’t! Wow, Billy!
All that bragging masked as astonishment? Great look, by the way.”
BILLY
[totally flat sarcasm]
“Will I ever learn? See how the human betrays my trust again. Even now she belittles me for believing her.”
ASHLEY
“Oh, don’t be salty! It’s not like that! Or, not ‘exactly’ like that. You still suck but, come on, you’ve got to SEE this!”
[snatches Billy and his stick up from the spot he’s currently jammed into]
BILLY
[makes a sound of startled surprise as he’s yanked up. Ash takes off running out the door and around the back of her shack.]
ASHLEY
“I got it yesterday. Didn’t even hit the auction for barter, yet. Great condition, what a beauty!”
BILLY
“Please tell me you didn’t trade ALL of your food away this time.”
ASHLEY
[first line with a mocking tone]
“No, I didn't have to trade all of my food away. Didn’t have to trade anything this time, actually. “On the house”, Mel said.”
[Removes the tarp to show the fuselage of a ‘Flamingo’ annihilator robot. It’s systems engage when it senses Ashley]
BILLY
“Is that what I think it is?”
ASHLEY
“Depends what you think it is, hotshot.”
BILLY
“It’s the fuselage of an annihilator robot, isn’t it? The one that humans commonly label as a ‘Flamingo’ due to the adjustable tendrils that act as its legs.”
ASHLEY
“Ding ding! You’re good! Mel says a custom claymore they got from the Warzone blew its legs off in a ‘live’ action test. They took its weapons off right after from a distance, I bet. Said they were just about to smash it with an Ultra Hammer before they remembered my little project. Took the time to pull the plug on it instead.”
BILLY
“A word of caution, Ms. Ashley. It’s possible that the machine could call for assistance upon reboot.”
ASHLEY
“I’m counting on it. Let it call for backup all day if it wants. We’re WAY outside of any killzone, and until they figure out how to get around that, we’re homefree. Besides, a distress call should be perfect for decoding their language, right?”
BILLY
“Yes… it should. Ideally I’d want to connect directly via hardwire, but I’m fearful that Omnitek may have security protocols that could scramble my civilian rated systems. As much as I hate to admit it, my programming is akin to a toaster oven when compared to these military units.”
ASHLEY
“How long do you need?”
BILLY
“If your theory on my capabilities in this regard is correct… not much more than a day of constant streaming. Two at most.”
ASHLEY
“What are we waiting for then? Let’s build a language, Billy!”
[FADE OUT]
[FADE IN]
[Generator is running hard, occasionally we hear some ‘robot sounds’ from the Flamingo in the background. Ashley is currently back to work on the hoverbike and the occasional labour effort in her voice would be perfect as she talks to herself]
ASHLEY [Monologue]
“I work best when I have someone to talk to. That’s the way I like it. I love this job. Getting into things, figuring them out. Pouring that love into what I’m working on. My mamá used to tell me that “This ain’t social hour”, bless her heart. I’m going to tell you, being in a shop is no refuge from gettin’ the chancla when you backtalk a warning like that. She was a smart lady though, taught me what I know about being a mechanic. She was wrong though, about this work. To me, there’s nothing better than hanging out with your friends, having a beer, and fixin’ something. Even better if I’m making something new. Engineering, inventing.
That’s why my shit’s good, right? I take my time on things that aren't urgent. Sure they always say it’s urgent, but when everything’s urgent, nothing is. Another thing mamá always said. They don’t complain when they get their stuff back, though. Usually better than before it got busted. I put myself into it and I work happy, so the machines are happy… and maybe a bit spicy.
Which is why everything’s fucked up right now. I can’t concentrate because Billy’s essentially offline. In it deep with that Flamingo. So I’ve got nobody to bounce off of. Just me and this [starts banging on the bike as she gets frustrated] miserable, stupid hoverbike.”
[picks up the phone and calls someone]
ASHLEY
“This is Ash. Shit’s FUBAR, Jones.”
[listens]
“Yup. Looks like we’re going to have to get all up and into her engine. Not looking forward to this, but no sense complaining about it, neither. I swear, if Jimbo thinks that a six pack is going to cover this kind of roll-up the sleeves, elbow deep-into-it dirty work, then he’s sadly fucking mistaken.”
[listens, the conversation becomes more heated.]
“Oh, you need her back? Is that right? Maybe you should have thought of that before giving the keys to some dumb kid who, no surprise, dumped her at the first spot of trouble. What aren’t you getting about it being FUBAR? Any normal mechanic would be stripping this thing for parts by now. You should thank me.”
[listens to Jones’ bullshit some more.]
“Did I say that you should thank me? Fuck that. You should WORSHIP me WHEN I get this thing up and running again. Don’t forget, I want scrap this time, not New World Dollars. Robotics, electronics. If you really want to make me happy, you can find me an old utility bot.”
[listens, ready to hang up]
“No, I’m asking for what I deserve. No more handouts to your crew. You hear me?”
[hangs up]
[swears in Spanish, very frustrated]
BILLY
“Well, that sounded… awkward. Are you alright, Ms. Ashley?”
ASHLEY
“Billy! Thank God, you’re back. How… I’m afraid to ask. How did it go? Did you get everything you need?”
BILLY
“I think so. They communicate in a surprisingly primitive way once you bypass the antiquated encryption, something that proved quite simple, with the software you integrated into my programming. I am also pleased to report that preliminary tests on the damaged Flamingo bore limited yet positive results. It’s currently stuck in a sort of distress ‘loop’, but I was able to press it for some basic red light/green light style responses to simple inquiries. It seems to understand.”
ASHLEY
“Holy shit. Let me shut this generator off and just… think for a second. [walks over and shuts gen off] It’s… that’s a breakthrough. We did it, didn’t we? Finally figured out how to bridge the gap. Now we just have to test it in the field.”
BILLY
“That would be the next logical step, I suppose. It remains a rather dangerous prospect. Understanding that communication isn’t control. We can’t be sure they won’t just open fire at the first possible chance. But… I also understand that you can’t go back now. That we’re in this regardless of the possible outcome. Am I correct in this assessment?”
ASHLEY
“You’ve got it right! Time to mount up and get into that killzone!”
[FADE OUT]
[FADE IN]
[Ashley is hidden in a covered trench within the Phoenix Killzone. Sounds of some sort of electronic device searching for something emanate from a small, makeshift satellite device. A recording device clicks]
ASHLEY
[talking quietly, already bored]
“This is day one in the Arizona Killzone, Operation: Flamingo Down. Or, at least that’s what we’re calling it.”
BILLY
“I don’t recall being included in the naming of this excursion. So unless you have a mouse in your pocket, Ms. Ashley-”
ASHLEY
“Shhhh. Billy, we’re recording. Wow. Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted; this is already way more boring then I thought it was going to be. We’re laying in an old military trench, covered by a tarp with my trusty signal boosting dish stickin’ out. Hoping to jack a line to any patrolling ‘bot in the area… and of course, no robots!”
BILLY
“Patience is a virtue, Ms. Ashley. Surely a patrol is inevitable, if not imminent.”
ASHLEY
“Whatever, Mr. Vocabulary. Stop trying to sound smart for the recorder.
I don’t even remember what I was saying. Now, let’s give a big ol’ round of applause to my assistant, Billy, everyone.”
BILLY
“I believe you had intended on explaining the purpose of Operation: Flamingo Down to the recorder. Likely breaking it down into scientific method, as per your usual procedure.”
ASHLEY
“Yes! That was it! Alright, so, as per scientific method we start with a question. Can we establish meaningful communication with Omnitek robotic intelligence? We’re out here because we’ve already completed extensive research and determined that these robots DO communicate so, as a hypothesis, we can assume that if we find a way to speak their language, there must be a way to bridge the gap. Now we need to find out if we can do so in a way that is meaningful or beneficial. So that brings us out here, sweating it out in Boringville, USA, under this tarp.”
BILLY
“Speak for yourself, Ms. Ashley.”
ASHLEY
“[in a mocking parody of Billy] Speak for yourself, Ms. Ashley. Whatever, you no follicle-having, traffic light lookin’ motherfucker.”
BILLY
“Traffic light!? Why I never- What was that?”
ASHLEY
“[forgets to be quiet for a second] I hear it! Okay, let’s GO! [realising her outburst and is now quiet again] I mean, let’s gooooo.”
BILLY
“It would seem to be a ‘Red-Tail’, as you humans have dubbed it. A hunter/killer in a more traditional designation. I recommend staying hidden.”
ASHLEY
“Affirmative. No time to screw around. You ready to broadcast, big guy?”
BILLY
“As ready as I’ll ever be. Transmitting… now.”
ASHLEY
“Alright! Signal’s looking good. First test, ‘acknowledgement’ of communication request. [punches a few big buttons on her control board]
BILLY
[kind of surprised]
“It… Its acknowledged the signal.”
ASHLEY
“Really!? I mean, yeah, of course they did! We’re going to go ahead and take a leap here. Establishing independence. Time to answer the question on whether these things are a hive mind or… who knows?”
BILLY
“It would seem that the unit is confused by this particular line of inquiry. That said, I have determined that though the Red-Tail seems to be acting independently, it queries a hub of sorts for its decisive reasoning.”
ASHLEY
“That’s… less than encouraging. Do you get the impression that it makes any decisions independently?
BILLY
“I’ve now transmitted all the tests we pre-programmed with regard to testing the individuality of any individual unit, as well as queries to the ‘Overmind’. I regret to inform you… that by all appearances these robots operate in the same way a trained animal might. Even worse, the ‘intelligence’ it’s pinging isn’t much better. A reinforcement of directives and parameters. Which makes communication-”
ASHLEY
[dejected, defeated]
“Meaningless. The best we can hope for is maybe… developing some new subterfuge methods. Which is a joke because the old ones work just fine. Damnit. If we can’t SPEAK then we won’t find any kind of peace or work anything out. We’ll just keep killing each other. Until the real end of the world.”
BILLY
“I’m sorry, Ms. Ashley. I truly am. Shall we… head on home?”
ASHLEY
“Yeah. Yeah, let’s pop the Crybaby and send this Red-Tail on a chase first, I guess. Should be more than enough time to get our asses, whether actual or proverbial, out of here without stirring the nest.”
[pops the Crybaby distress beacon, the Red-tail flies off before she sweeps the tarp up.]
BILLY
“We could perhaps try again. Closer to a factory, perhaps?”
ASHLEY
“Yeah, maybe.”
BILLY
“Perhaps if we alter our metrics for success. Aim for a different conclusion. A new hypothesis?”
ASHLEY
“Sure.”
BILLY
“... There are certainly other-”
ASHLEY
“There isn’t, okay!? Robots kill humans and zombies because that’s what they’re programmed to do. Humans in turn smoke robots and zombies because we don’t know how to let go of the past and we’re greedy as fuck. Meanwhile, zombies still can’t figure out that they can’t eat loud noises. The cycle doesn’t stop unless we can work past it, and we can’t work past anything if we can’t even communicate.”
BILLY
“You’re right. We’ll keep working on it. There must be a way.”
ASHLEY
“Yeah. A way to the saloon.”
BILLY
“Oh no, not again.”
ASHLEY
“Oh yes, again.”
BILLY
“Drink your fill if you should find the need but… I’m begging you. Please. Do not attempt to play the piano again, I’m begging. Ms. Ashley? Ms. Ashley, are you listening to me?”
[FADE OUT]
[FADE IN]
ASHLEY
[a little drunk]
“I’ll take another… whatever that was.”
MEL
“One ‘Reggie’s Blonde Bombshells’ coming up. I promise, I did NOT come up with that name. Such low, LOW hanging fruit.”
ASHLEY
“What’s the scoop, anyway? I didn’t think you worked here anymore.”
MEL
“I don’t. Elinor called in a favour. Said they were short staffed so here’s Mel to the rescue, I guess. You know, if I knew back then that co-founding a saloon meant you were tied to the place for the entirety of your long-assed mutant life? I would’ve just got drunk at home, you know? It’s been almost a hundred years!”
ASHLEY
“At least you left your mark though, right?”
MEL
“I suppose? Leaving a mark isn’t what it used to be. Don’t know if it ever meant anything at all. Maybe you should look at it this way: The world sucks, kid. You don’t owe this ball of dust a damn thing. If you want to be known for anything, try being ‘the girl that lived a happy life’. It’s a pretty good legacy, if you ask me.”
ASHLEY
“It isn’t about that. The fame, or whatever. It’s about the future. I thought if I could just like… start the conversation with them that we could all figure out a way to put down our weapons for a while.”
MEL
“Ha! That’d be a first. Everyone used to be able to speak to each other just fine in the Old World. Still had every big country keeping enough ordinance on hand to destroy the world some 80 times over. Just to keep one another’s fingers off the trigger. Wild.”
ASHLEY
“Yeah, but it isn’t like that this time! Or, it wasn’t supposed to be. They’re robots. All logical and shit. Not like us. God, I should have listened… To everybody, I mean! They told me the robots were stupid.”
BILLY
“I resent that remark.”
ASHLEY
“Not you! If anything, you were the reason I thought I had a shot. You might be grumpy and stubborn, but you're not stupid.”
BILLY
“When the bar is this low, I feel I need to take the compliments where I can get them.”
MEL
“She doesn’t mean it, Bill. You’re pretty swell for an old carburetor.”
ASHLEY
“I don’t know why I feel this way. Like, if I don’t do this, or find a way, we’re somehow not going to find any change in human/zombie/robot relations in my lifetime, nevermind peace. It’s not like it all hangs on MY personal shoulders, right?”
MEL
“Now you're talkin’, girl! Fuck it! Let someone else take their shot.”
ASHLEY
“You’re right! You’re absolutely right. Fuck it!”
MEL
“One thing though. Before we… fuck it, or whatever. You said human/zombie/robot relations, right?”
ASHLEY
“Yeah. What about it?”
MEL
“So, you started with zombies before you moved on to robots, right?”
ASHLEY
“Pfffft. Why would I do that? They’re zombies.”
MEL
“You… know that they talk too, right?”
ASHLEY
[surprised but doubtful]
“What? What do you mean?”
MEL
“Woah. Okay let’s roll this back a bit. They talk. It’s mostly all “Oh god, kill me” and “I wish I was dead” stuff, but they do talk.”
ASHLEY
“You’re shitting me.”
MEL
[flabberghasted]
“No! Are you serious right now? Do you think I spent… like fifty years on sentry duty popping zombies cause it was fun? No fucking way! Those were mercy kills!”
ASHLEY
“How am I just hearing about this now?”
MEL
“Probably because you spend all your time talking to inanimate objects and busted up tin cans. No offence, Bill.”
BILLY
“Oh no, please, do go on. I thrive on your discrimination. ‘Junktown is for all of us’ my non-existent derrière.”
MEL
“Hey, I bet if you had an ass it’d be spectacular. However, neither that ass nor you being a robot makes you immune to chirping.”
ASHLEY
“Chirping is for all of us.”
MEL
“Exactly. But seriously. I know there aren't all that many of us mutants around, but yeah, all of us can hear ‘em I think.”
ASHLEY
“We’ve just been using the wrong receiver. It’s so obvious. Billy could interpret robots… at some level they use the same sort of programming language and maybe mutants…”
MEL
“Hey, hey, hey. Don’t you say it.”
ASHLEY
“I’m just saying… the zombie strain, or whatever it is. It’s part of you. The same programming…”
MEL
“For fuck’s sake. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
ASHLEY
“You know about Goldengate, right?”
MEL
“Yeah. It was a nightmare situation. About fifty years back a zombie walked in and wiped out the whole community, they say. Jump-started a new wave of ‘em and gave small settlements something new to worry about as zombie hordes started popping up all over the country. What of it?”
ASHLEY
“They say the Goldengate zombies stayed put. That they’re all still up there. Fuckin’ creepy, they say.”
MEL
“I get it. And the answer is no. Nope. Not doing it, Ash.”
ASHLEY
“Come on, Mel. I need this.”
MEL
“Absolutely not. We’re not going to Goldengate.”
ASHLEY
“I’m going to convince you. I’m basically the best at convincing.”
BILLY
“She’s not.”
ASHLEY
“Shut up, Billy.”
MEL
“He’s right. I find myself unconvinced.”
[Mel and Ashley both start to get a bit more playful with each other about this stubborn back and forth. There is a little chemistry/tension here]
ASHLEY
“I’m also super persistent. Some say the most persistent. I mean, who else would have spent YEARS trying to figure out a way to go out for proverbial coffee with killer robots when everyone else told her it was stupid? Besides, what are you doing these days? Going on patrol? Filling in and slinging beers at Reggie’s?”
MEL
“Which you should be thankful for.”
ASHLEY
“Oh, I am.”
MEL
“Doesn’t seem like it.”
ASHLEY
“Come on. You wouldn’t have suggested it if you weren’t a little curious.”
MEL
“You’re so fucking backwards about this.”
ASHLEY
“Yeah? I can figure this out. I know I can. But I need you to do it.”
MEL
“Whatever happened to ‘Fuck it?’”
ASHLEY
“Fuck it to ‘Fuck it’.”
BILLY
“Hello? I’m still here. An awkward third wheel, yearning to be free of this… obnoxious flirting.”
MEL
“This isn’t flirting.”
BILLY
“Obviously.”
ASHLEY
“Shut it, Billy. So… how’s tomorrow? Leave for Goldengate in the morning for field testing?”
MEL
[deep breath]
“Fine. Fine. Why not? Just if… it doesn’t work-”
ASHLEY
“If it doesn’t work, and we get nothing at all from it… I’ll ‘try’ to move on. Swear it, on my madre, even.”
MEL
“Good enough for me. Now go. Get packin’. Tomorrow we’re leaving for Goldengate.”
[FADE OUT]